we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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