Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
