Are we in a gay sports bar?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
