2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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