i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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