I wanna bring you to show and tell
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize