You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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