JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Send help, water and tortillas.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
