Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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