:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
