She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
