You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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