no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
