Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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