just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
