there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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