he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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