I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
