he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
