Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
