Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
