So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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