I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
