I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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