But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
