The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
