but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
