Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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