Say something about gay babies.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you inspire me to be a worse person
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
