So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize