btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize