She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
