it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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