Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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