Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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