grandma shit on top of the toilet
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize