She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
