It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I bet he comes in French.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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