I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
