What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize