You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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