I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
