Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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