is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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