Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize