do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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