so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize