I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
