Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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