Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
