lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
