where am i from again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
