This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
