You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
