You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
