where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
