the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My underwear smells like fireworks.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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