Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
